?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

If some of this fits some of you

am feeling unaccountable happy today, in spite of work stress, so expect many small posts from me today... To start with there's some old surveyage below - so last week darlings
1) If you could be instantly fluent in one other language that you currently do not read or speak, which would it be?
Dutch so I could live in Amsterdam. Especially if I could teleport there and have the money from winning the lottery (see questions 6 & 13).

2) If you could have the starring role in any film already made, what would it be?
Does this mean I have to do the work of being in the film? Would I still have to look like me? 'Cos there's not a lot of starring roles in Holywood for people who look like me, so I'd have to go for some film that hasn't been made yet that there's a role for a gorgeous fat woman in - maybe I could persuade them to make Margaret Atwood's Lady Oracle. And then change the plot so she doesn't lose that much weight - after all people change plots for films all the time.

3) If you could receive one small package this very moment, who would it be from and what would be in it?
Winning lottery tickets are very small, but I see that I win the lottery in question 13, so I'll have a large quantity of LSD, which would still be a very tiny package. I'm not actually that pushed about who it came from as long as they were trustworthy.

4) If you could own one painting from any collection in the world but were not able to sell it, which work of art would you select?
Magritte's Empire of Light


5) If you were instantly able to play one musical instrument perfectly that you never have played before, what would it be?
Electric guitar, so I could be in a band!

6) If you could possess one supernatural ability, what would it be?
Teleportation.

7) If you had to choose the most valuable thing you ever learned what would it be?
Google.

8)If you could have only one piece of furniture in your house, what would it be?
If it was the only bit of furniture I'd better have one of those giant loft beds with a built in sofa and desk and wardrobe and bookcase and... In fact I'd just join all my furniture together with string. See, I'm far too practical for this kind of question.

9) If you could read the private diary of someone you know personally, whose diary would it be?
I'm not sure I'd want to. If I *had* to read someone's private diary I'd probably chose someone with no desire to record their deepest inner thoughts in a diary, like ciphergoth

10) If you could have one person you know as your slave well-paid and cared for domestic laborer for one month, who would it be?
I'm afraid I'm sad enough to want someone who could actually do housework and DIY. I mean, I want a new bookcase made and lots of useful stuff like that. Hang on! I'll have Lawrence Llewelyn-Bowen please!


11) If you could choose the way you will die, how would you want it to happen?
Sitting in a chair in the sun, having a snooze, with all my faculties, at the age of 110.


12) If you could wake up tomorrow to learn that the major newspaper headlines were about you, what would you want them to say?
Alison Rowan is right, say world leaders

13) If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you would do?
Share the news with my flatmates, buy presents for lots of people, then start shopping for a house.

14) If you could choose the music at your funeral, what would it be, and who would play it?
Everybody loves you when you're dead - Cop Shoot Cop.

15) If you could take away the vocal cords of any person, who would it be?
Am I allowed to say autopope? 'Cos that would be funny. Although probably I should go for someone more politically useful, like Dubya.

16) If you had to describe your idea of the perfect mate, how would you do it?
Romantic, devoted, rich, intelligent and very, very easy-going.

17) If you had to have a personal friend redecorate your house, who would you pick to do it?
You mean I can't have Lawrence Llewenyn-Bowen? Probably sibelian, because he has excellent taste, and also because he lives there, so he wouldn't want to fuck it up.

18) If you had to choose the worst home you've ever lived in, which one was it?
There was the one with the hole in the wall and the slugs in the kitchen, not to mention the heroin under the floorboards. Yup, that one was pretty grim.

19) If you could have prevented one thing from happening between you and a friend, what would it have been?
I wish my ex-fiancee was still talking to me. I'm sure there's other things I'd want to change, but most of them would either have happened anyway, or had some good consequences, or have been sort of sorted out now.

20) If you could learn the total number of hours you have spent in your life doing one thing, what would it be?
Do I care? if I wanted to work it out I could do a rough estimate, anyway.

21) If you had to describe yourself as a child in one word, what would it be?
Bookworm.

22) If you could own a single prop from any film ever made what would you choose?
The Pleasure Organ from Barbarella, because it would make such a great prop for a fetish club.