I've been thinking about wildeabandon's thoughts about friends, and wondering how many 'friends' I have as opposed to people I'm friendly with. I don't exactly know how I define 'friend', so this is all rather loose, but I reckon I have:-
- three partners who I count as my closest friends ever (all male).
- three friends in Edinburgh who I would go out of my way for whenever they were in distress, whatever else was happening (also all male).
- a further five or six friends in Edinburgh who I'd be happy to tell my troubles to and would listen to theirs in return, but I don't see them often enough to call them close friends (only two of whom are female).
- two friends in London who I feel close to (both of whom I've slept with. One I text a lot and one I don't, and I don't know if either would consider me a close friend, but I'd go out of my way for them. (one male, one female)
- four or five people in London who would be close friends if I lived there but I don't see often enough right now (including two or three women).
I don't know how many of my close friends would consider me a close friend in return, and in some ways itt matters less to me than I'd expect. I also have a whole bundle of female and male acquaintances in Edinburgh, and in the BiCon/Whitby/Londonpolybis crowds, which all overlap in interesting ways. But what this analysis seems to be telling me is that I don't find it easy to get close to women, and that there isn't a single person who I consider a very close friend who I haven't either slept with or want to sleep with. I like shagging friends I guess, at least the once - it seems to help cement a friendship for me...