1. What's one thing you wish you could do but can't?
Count to 13
2. What is your ideal marriage location?
In a cage full of angry tigers
3. Which musical instrument do you wish you could play?
4. What's your favourite day of the week, and why?
Tuesday, because it’s spinning round and round in your chair day
5. Favourite fabric(s)
The fabric of space-time
6. Something you love and hate
7. What kind of bedding do you use?
Shredded paper. It’s cheaper than sawdust these days
8. What kind of soap do you use?
Seaweed and sand flavour
9. Do you tell your friends about your sex life?
No, even the ones I’m sleeping with have to guess
10. What's the one language you want to learn?
11. How do you eat an apple?
12. What do you order at a bar?
A blank stare
13. Can you count to 13?
No, I get stuck at 11
14. Have you ever pierced your body parts?
Yes, I have a collection of ears on a string
15. Do you have tattoos?
No, none of the ears are tattooed
16. Would you ever admit to having done plastic surgery of any kind if confronted?
Yes, yes I had plastic surgery, now will you please stop hitting me with sticks…
17. What's one of the "funnest" things you've ever done
Lying for my country
18. Do you drive stick?
Only the broomstick
19. What's one trait you hate in a person?
Asking damnfool questions
20. What's the one trait you need in a person?
Admitting I am right
21. What kind of watch(es) do you wear?
A sundial. It’s a bugger getting it aligned every time you want to know the time, though
22. Most frivolous purchase?
The Tower of London
23. Do you consider yourself materialistic?
Nope. I consider myself a duelist
24. What do you cook the best?
25. Favourite writing instrument?
A stylus and clay tablet
26. Do you prefer to stand out or blend in?
It depends on whether I’m trying to pick someone up or trying to invade China
27. Do you have anything monogrammed?
28. Would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex?
I sometimes go out looking like a male transvestite who happens to share my exact taste in clothes, yes.
29. What's one car you will never buy?
One I have to pay for
30. Have you ever done drugs?
How dare you suggest such a thing!
31. What kind of books do you like to read?
Ones that stay still long enough
32. If you won the lottery, what would you do first?
Wonder how I got the ticket
33. Burial or cremation?
Cremation, it means they can’t do a post mortem. Oh, you mean for me? I don’t mind.
34. How many online journals do you read regularly?
Live Journal, the Ploughkeepsie Times, and The Journal of Interesting and Plausible Lies
35. What's one thing you're a sore loser at?
Sheep and Tides
36. If you don't like a person, how do you show it?
Devastating rudeness. Oh, and sometimes I chop off their ears
38. Favorite kind of popcorn?
Steak and chips flavour
39. Do you have problems changing clothes in front of friends?
Yes, most of my friends won’t let me
40. Do you cry in front of friends?
Yes, but if they see me I have to chop off their ears
41. What kind of first impression do you think you give to people?
Kind of like being hit on the head with a wet sock
42. What's one thing you like to do alone?
43. What's the worst thing you ever said to someone?
If you speak to me again I’m calling the police
44. What's the worst thing anyone ever said to you?
You look like just what you are
45. Are you a giver or a taker?
I prefer to think of myself as a receiver
46. When's the right time to go to the bathroom in front of your significant other?
I’ll go to the bathroom in front of other people, it’s just that I then believe in shutting the door behind me
47. Favorite communication method?
48. What is one thing you don't leave home without?
49. How often do you call your mom?
I called her mom once, but she didn’t like it, so now I don’t
50. What's the most painful experience you've ever had?
Reading certain bad poems on LJ