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6th Jan, 2003

What is Your Favorite Word?

Today it's inculcating. Tomorrow, who knows?

What is Your Least Favorite Word?

Any of Mistress, Dear or Ali, when addressed to me.

What Turns You On?

Sexual intercourse usually does the trick.

What Turns You Off?

People licking my ears.

What Sound Do You Love?

Cats saying hello, wind in trees, storms outside when I'm nice and toasting inside.

What Sound Do You Hate?

People arguing, especially when they're too far away to hear what they're saying.

What is Your Favorite Curse Word?

Flaps - but I have so far avoided accidently using it at work.

What Profession Other than Yours Would You Like To Attempt?

I'd like to try being a Chief Executive of a minor charity, because I'm convinced it can't be that much harder than the menial tasks I do and it pays far better. Alternatively I'll be Bill Gates for a bit, because even if they immediately notice I can't do the job, it won't take many minutes for me to make my fortune.

What Profession Would You Not Like to Participate In?

Policing, Defence, or anything else I consider morally reprehensible.

If Heaven Exists, What Would You Like to Hear God Say When You Arrive At The Pearly Gates?

I apologise.